“Your daughter will be receiving a platelet transfusion as soon as we receive it from the hospital across town.”
This is what my doctor said to me after my daughter was born. This news was both devastating and scary for myself and my husband, as we had just welcomed our first child into this world.
The original birth plan
After carrying my daughter for nine months with no complications, a fetal neonatal alloimmune thrombocytopenia (FNAIT) diagnosis was not in my birth plan for when she made her arrival. I had planned and dreamt of this moment for almost a year, especially after experiencing a miscarriage prior to this pregnancy.
I thought my daughter would be safe, healthy and snuggled up on my chest. The importance of skin-to-skin shortly after birth was made known to me by professionals, and I had longed for that experience. I had packed the little outfit for her first pictures, but unfortunately, she would never be able to wear those during her stay at the hospital.
When plans changed
Unlike many first-time mothers, when my water broke at 9:00 p.m., it just like you see in the movies–sudden and without warning. Being only 38 weeks and four days, I was terrified and unprepared. My husband, beyond enthusiastic, hurried to pack our bags, and we left for the hospital.
My labor was slow and not progressing as it should have. After 12 hours of intense pain, my nurse determined that I was only four centimeters dilated. I decided it was time for the epidural, and soon after, I took a well-deserved nap after being up all night. Soon, it was finally time to push! I didn’t know at the time, but I was about to have one of the most traumatic moments in my life.
After pushing for what felt like forever, there was a sudden sense of urgency amongst my OBGYN and the nurses in the delivery room. I vaguely recall hearing someone say, “We lost the heart,” and someone else said, “We’ve got to get her out now.” Then, my OBGYN urged me to push as hard as possible. She was here!
The team laid my sweet baby girl on my chest, and I remember crying tears of joy, feeling overcome with love for this new baby. A picture was taken, but then she was quickly taken to the hospital infant table to be looked at. Something was terribly wrong. I could feel it.
The news no mother wants to hear
As I watched from my bed, still numb from the epidural and receiving stitches, I saw my husband’s face turn from excitement to fear. He watched as the nurses examined our tiny 5 lbs., 15 oz newborn. He walked back to my bedside and explained that our daughter was bruised from head to toe. The nurses and OBGYN decided she needed to be taken to the NICU to find out what was going on.
It was discovered that our daughter was born with only 11,000 platelets, when the average platelet count should be closer to 100,000 for infants. After receiving a platelet transfusion only hours after birth, our daughter progressed quickly and without any trouble. She spent three days in the NICU and was released from the hospital shortly after me. We were just happy that she was healthy and safe in our arms, but it would be another two years until we would receive answers as to why this happened.
Receiving the diagnosis
It wasn’t until I was pregnant with my second child in 2020 that I finally was diagnosed with FNAIT. Reflecting on my past pregnancy and delivery with my daughter, I was overcome with so many “what ifs” around the entire experience. I wondered what could have happened if I had been diagnosed before my daughter arrived and how much smoother her delivery and treatment could have been if that was the case.
I am so grateful for the team that took such great care of my daughter and the doctors who discovered FNAIT during my second pregnancy and made sure to provide the care needed to welcome my son into the world without complications. Time and therapy have helped me to accept the trauma that ensued following my daughter’s birth, but it shouldn’t have to be this way. Education surrounding rare diseases, especially those that affect pregnancy, is vital to providing parents with a birth experience that won’t leave mental scars.
