Having your baby in the NICU can be a stressful and heart-wrenching experience, especially if you can’t hold them. Whether your baby is too fragile, connected to equipment or your time at the bedside is limited, it’s natural to feel helpless during this time.
But there are plenty of ways to stay connected to your newborn, provide comfort, and build bonds even if you can’t hold them.
Talk to your baby
While your baby will not understand your words, your voice can offer comfort and distraction from any stressful stimuli in the NICU. In fact, research has found that hearing their mother’s voice appears to decrease discomfort in preterm infants during painful procedures.
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Speak in a soothing voice and try telling your baby about what’s going on around them, what’s being done to help them get better, and how much you love them. Gently humming, singing a lullaby or reading a book can also be calming.
Music therapy
NICU music therapy, especially when delivered by trained specialists, is becoming more common in hospitals. Studies have shown that soft, gentle music and live singing in the NICU is tied to a number of benefits, including reduced stress, improved neurodevelopment and emotional bonding.
However, experts warn that babies can get overstimulated quickly, so it’s important to be mindful of the music’s volume and complexity and to watch for any signs of distress. In general, simple music with only one voice or a voice singing along with a piano or guitar is best. Avoid abrupt changes in tempo or melody and keep the volume as low as possible.
Gentle touch and ‘hand-hugging‘
Even if you can’t pick your baby up, you may be encouraged to place your warm hands gently on their head or back. This kind of touch, called “hand hugging,” can mimic the feeling of being held and help calm their nervous system.
Simply holding your baby’s hand or offering gentle caresses can also bring them comfort.
Utilize scent
If you can’t hold your baby, another way you can connect with them is through the power of scent. Many NICUs encourage parents to bring in a worn T-shirt or a small cloth that smells like them. These items are often placed near the baby’s head in their incubator to provide familiarity and comfort.
Just keep in mind that your baby’s sense of smell can be extremely sensitive so avoid wearing perfumes, colognes and strongly-scented lotion in the NICU.
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